Princess Stories--iDOLMSTER Style
by gracegrrl007
Summary: Basically just a collection of princess stories with the iDOLM@STER characters as the cast. Includes every character at some point, including Jupiter and 876. To be honest, the idea for this story branched slightly from Cronomon's "That Cinderella Story", so if you like this check that out, it's hilarious. OK! Next story: Aladdin, starring Hibiki
1. Chapter 1

"Places! Places, everyone!"

The cry rang around the studio where the idols of 765 Productions were waiting. With them were Project Jupiter of 961, and Ai, Ryo, and Eri, the idols from 876. The three agencies had been gathered there together for one purpose and one purpose only:

To make a movie.

Takagi, Ishikawa, and Kuroi were directing the movie together, and Producer was helping them out (which was particularly useful when the three of them got into a random dispute over running an agency) and every idol was starring.

Always the businesswoman, Minase Iori was the first one to question the presidents about exactly what was going on.

"Scripts," she demanded. "None of us have them. You cannot expect us to create a movie that will receive more than it costs if we don't even have scripts to learn!"

"Scripts?" Takagi echoed.

Ishikawa waved her hand. "You don't need those."

"My idols are professionals!" Kuroi scoffed. "They don't need scripts! But obviously, you 765 scum need a cheat-sheet, eh?"

Takagi shot him a glare. "Don't worry. They're all well-known fairytales. There's no need for scripts."

"We don't have SCRIPTS?!" Iori shrieked. "How on Earth…? Why not?"

"Just make stuff up," Ishikawa laughed. "I'm sure you'll be adorable. It doesn't matter."

"And besides, if there's no script there's nothing for you to mess up on," Kuroi added. "You should be thanking us. Otherwise, you people would be getting things wrong left and right!" He added a hearty laugh. "Of course, I've trained my Project Jupiter to be able to do such things as memorizing a script easily, so they would naturally be perfect."

At this point even Ishikawa seemed angry at the bragging of the 961 president. She offered Iori a smile. "They're princess stories. You're saying you can't figure something out for princess stories?"

"I…I'm sure I could," Iori muttered. "But still…"

"Don't worry about it, Minase-kun," Takagi insisted. "You'll be great."

Iori sighed. "Fine. Then, what role am I playing again?"

"The Princess and the Pea. You're the princess."

"Naturally." Iori gave a little curtsey and sped off to find the rest of her cast.

"What is this?!"

All three presidents turned to see a very angry-looking Kikuchi Makoto standing off to the side. Behind her was a very cute-looking Takatsuki Yayoi. Takagi smiled.

"Kikuchi-kun?"

"Why am I a prince?" Makoto demanded. "When I heard we were going to be doing a princess movie, I thought maybe I would get to wear a dress too…but you…!"

"Relax, Kikuchi-kun," Takagi laughed. "We thought this would suit you better."

"Makoto-san is my prince," Yayoi commented. "But does that mean we have to do something romantic-y? Because that would be weird."

"Think about the story of Cinderella. What happens between the prince and Cinderella in that story?" Takagi prompted.

Makoto raised an eyebrow. "He…finds her shoe?"

"Exactly. So all you really need to do is pick up a shoe."

"But still! I wanted to be a princess too…I mean, you have three other boys here already. Four if you count Ryo," Makoto added, glancing at Ishikawa, who nodded. "So why couldn't you have given one of them the part?"

"They have their hands full already," Ishikawa commented. "After all, my Ryo is playing every extra part there is. Well, him and Ai. And Eri…wait, why are all my idols extras?!"

Makoto and Yayoi waited rather impatiently (one more so than the other) while the presidents bickered, and then finally Producer ran over to play peacemaker and the presidents returned their attention to the waiting pair.

"You only have to play one prince," Kuroi muttered. "My idols play all the rest. So why don't you just deal with it?"

"I don't want to hear that from you," Makoto snapped.

"I think you'll make a really good prince, Makoto-san," Yayoi piped. "Maybe even better than the other three."

A small smile crept onto Makoto's face. "…you really think so? Well, I mean…I wouldn't want to let you down, after all…OK, I guess I should be grateful I get a part at all. Come on, Yayoi…let's go practice or something."

"OK!"

Takagi smiled. "Now that that's settled…"

"What is the meaning of this, Kuroi-shachou?" Now there was a furry-looking Hokuto bothering the presidents.

"Another one?" Ishikawa sighed. "Kuroi, you handle this one."

"Why is my first appearance as the beast?" Hokuto asked. "I'm supposed to reveal my beautiful face for the ladies watching. When I walked into the make-up room, I thought I'd just get a quick touch-up and be done, but after two hours I left that place looking like this. Please explain."

"Miura Azusa-kun is Belle." It was all Kuroi needed to say.

Hokuto blinked past the brown fur on his face. "…ah, why didn't you say so? Very well. Thank you for this opportunity." Then he left.

Kuroi grinned. "See, my idol received his news like a man and left."

"Your idols are the only 'men' that are here," Takagi hissed.

"Except Ryo," Ishikawa interjected.

"We said 'men'," Kuroi stated.

Ishikawa opened her mouth to object, then she glanced over at her group of idols, already getting ready for their fist appearance in the Cinderella bit. Eri was the fairy godmother, and Ai and Ryo were the stepsisters. Kotori, the office clerk of 765 Productions, would be playing the evil stepmother. Ishikawa watched Ryo step into the dress he'd been assigned to wear without any bit of protesting—after all, by now the feminine young boy was used to this kind of thing—and then she turned back to the other presidents.

"Point taken," she responded lightly.

Takagi nodded and lifted a megaphone. "OK, everyone, places! Places!" He lowered the microphone and spoke to the other two. "I never get tired of using this thing." Then he screamed into the device again. "Get ready, everyone! The first performance will be Cinderella!"


	2. Cinderella

_Cast:_

_Takatsuki Yayoi-Cinderella_

_Kikuchi Makoto-Prince Charming_

_Mizutani Eri-Fairy godmother_

_Otonashi Kotori-Evil Stepmother_

_Hidaka Ai-Evil Stepsister #1_

_Akizuki Ryo-Evil Stepsister #2_

_Producer-Cinderella's Father _

_Random Props-Mice and Such_

Takatsuki Yayoi loved her father very much. He was a kind man who always looked after her, even though they were poor and couldn't really do anything with their money. But Yayoi didn't mind being poor. She liked it, actually. Which was strange. But Yayoi had grown up being poor, and so at least she couldn't be conceited, and she'd learned which stores sold the cheapest beans, and she knew which days everything was on sale.

But none of that mattered anyway, because now, Yayoi's father was going to marry a rich lady and get her money to use for his family. That rich lady just so happened to be Lady Otonashi Kotori.

Three months after they were married, Yayoi's father died (which made Producer rather upset, since he didn't even have any lines before he died) and Yayoi was left living alone with her evil stepmother and her two evil stepsisters, Hidaka Ai and Akizuki Ryo.

"It's very sad that your poor father died," Kotori commented one evening, a bit too sincerely for her character.

"Yes, he didn't even get any lines," Yayoi agreed.

"Well, that's all very sad, but now I'm going to be in charge of you, alright?"

"OK. What would you like me to do?"

"Go clean the cinders at the fireplace so that we can start calling you Cinder…Yayoi, and thus spark the title of this fairytale."

"OK."

Every day, Yayoi found herself doing dishes (which her stepsister Ryo helped with even though "she" wasn't supposed to), cleaning the cinders (which Ryo also helped with, thus getting "herself" reprimanded by the presidents), and doing various other household chores (which Ryo was no longer allowed to help with). Even so, Yayoi didn't complain and even did extra chores sometimes, which she wasn't really supposed to do but did anyways.

One day it was announced that the prince of the kingdom was hosting a ball. Yayoi didn't seem very excited, since she knew the story and knew she wouldn't get to go anyways, but secretly she knew that she actually would end up going to the ball after all so she decided to summon a fairy godmother after her family left for the night.

"Now, you be good, OK?" Kotori warned. "We're going to go have fun. At the ball. With the prince. Without you."

"Oh, don't worry, I'll be there eventually," Yayoi promised.

"That sounds great!" Ryo chimed, and was instantly ordered into the carriage early.

"Well, you know, even if you do show up, you're going to lose your shoe so it's gonna stink for you!" Ai yelped. She too was ordered into the carriage.

"Oh, I know I'm going to lose my shoe, but they're just props made out of plastic so it's OK," Yayoi insisted. As a result, she was sent to her room. She was still in her room when her stepfamily left for the ball. "Fairy godmother, you can come out now."

There was a flash of light. When the light faded, Mizutani Eri was floating in its place, holding a wand and looking very much uncomfortable with the amount of cameras pointed at her.

"Um…h-hello," she said quietly.

"Hi," Yayoi exclaimed.

"Er…I am…your fairy godmother. Do you wish to lose your shoe? I-I mean…go to the ball?"

"Not really," Yayoi admitted. "But I have to anyways so I may as well."

"Oh…um, do you have any…mice?"

"I have these props. They're stuffed mice. You may use them."

"Thank you, those will work fine." With a flick of her wand, Eri transformed the props into horses through CGI animation, which the production agencies couldn't really afford but used anyways.

"These are very large horses in my room," Yayoi commented.

"Yes, they are," Eri agreed. "Shall we go? I…believe your carriage may be waiting. Wasn't it a pumpkin?"

"Yes. There is a pumpkin prop waiting for you outside," Yayoi told her.

"V-very well. Let's go, so that I may get away from these cameras."

And so, the two girls hurried outside to the waiting pumpkin. Eri transformed it with the use of more CGI animation, and then there was a scene change that took Yayoi straight to the ball so she wouldn't have to sit in the illusion of the carriage. Eri was so preoccupied with pondering the expenses of all of this that she forgot to tell Yayoi to be home by midnight, but it didn't matter because Yayoi had read this story a hundred times and so she already knew.

At the ball, Yayoi was immediately able to pick up the location of the prince by the huge crowd of girls over in the corner. A few of them swooned. Yayoi sashayed over to the prince because she'd always wanted to sashay, and found her assumptions had been correct. Prince Kikuchi Makoto was currently trying to fight off a huge legion of female extras who just so happened to be her biggest fans.

"Excuse me…I really have to get through, there is a girl waiting to lose her shoe," Makoto sighed. "Yes, yes, I like my face too, thank you…ah, no, I would prefer you didn't kiss it, one experience with that was bad enough, thank you…seriously though, I have to pick up a shoe. That's supposed to be the highlight of my night or something." Finally, Makoto managed to make it past the other girls and over to Yayoi.

"Hi," Yayoi said.

"Hi," Makoto responded. "Want to lose a shoe?"

"Yes, I do. These plastic shoes—I mean, these glass slippers—are very uncomfortable and stiff."

"Oh. OK. Well, we should dance first. Do you know Oppa Gangnam Style?"

Makoto was promptly taken aside for a strict reprimanding from half the staff.

When she returned, it had magically become midnight.

"It's suddenly midnight," Yayoi declared.

"Yep. I think you're supposed to lose your shoe now," Makoto announced. "What's so bad about Oppa Gangnam Style anyways? Just because it's Korean doesn't mean it's not a good song."

Yayoi reached down and took off her shoe, then she handed it to Prince Makoto, who took it. "There. Now, after I run away, follow me tomorrow and give that back. I live at that cottage in the village with the thatched roof and the bejeweled door," Yayoi explained.

"Got it. And, this won't fit Ai or Ryo, will it?"

"How did you know my stepsisters' names?"

"I'm a prince, I know everything."

"Oh. Well, no, it won't fit them. Just ask for CinderYayoi."

"OK. Bye."

"Bye."

Yayoi sashayed out of the door and back to her house because sashaying, as she had learned, was more fun than regular walking. When she woke up the next morning, Prince Makoto was already at her house. She settled on a chair and held out her foot.

"Hey, CinderYayoi," Makoto greeted. "I have your plastic shoe…I mean glass slipper."

"Of course you do. I gave it to you last night," Yayoi confirmed. "Now, please put it back on my foot."

"Ew, touching other people's feet is gross," Makoto protested. "Why don't you put your own shoe on?"

"I'll do it," Ryo offered.

"I can do it if you want," Kotori added.

All three of them were promptly taken aside for a stern reprimanding and then sent back out to the movie.

"Geez, first no Oppa Gangnam Style and now I have to touch people's feet?" Makoto muttered, kneeling in front of Yayoi. "Jerks." She pulled Yayoi's shoe off her foot and replaced it with the plastic shoe—or rather, the "glass slipper"—looking very disgusted as she did so. Yayoi beamed.

"And now, I think we were supposed to get married," she murmured. "Right?"

"Sure. Let's do it off-set so we don't actually have to get married, but the viewers will assume we did anyways," Makoto suggested.

"OK."

And that was how the story of CinderYayoi ended.

Takagi applauded his idols for their good work. Ishikawa seemed pleased. Kuroi was shaking his head.

"Amateurs," he muttered, earning a stomp on the foot from Ishikawa, who at this point was getting fed up with Kuroi's bragging and was offended that he would refer to her idols as amateurs.

"Now then," Takagi began, "next up is the Frog Prince."


	3. The Frog Prince

_Cast:_

_Amami Haruka-The Princess_

_Amagase Touma-the Frog Prince_

Amami Haruka didn't consider herself a prissy girl. She accepted a dare to eat a worm once, after all. She tripped and fell in the mud often, and was generally willing to do just about anything. But there was one thing Haruka would not do, and that was strip.

And strip she feared she would have to do when she tore up her dress from the hem of her skirt to her ribcage. Not only was the dress now torn, but it was dirty from slipping and falling in the mud. So, knowing of no other alternative, Haruka naturally began to cry.

And who should hear her crying but a small frog, who hopped over to her and glared (if frogs could glare) up at the crying princess. Haruka sniffed and looked down at the cute green creature.

"What the heck are you crying about, 765?" the frog spat.

Haruka blinked. "Well, as you can obviously see, I ripped my dress very badly and if you looked closely, you would be able to see my underwear. Please don't look closely," she added quickly, blushing slightly.

The frog blushed (assuming frogs can blush). "Of course I won't, stupid," it sighed. "Seriously though, that's not a big deal."

"It is too! Now I have to take it off so I don't ruin it more!"

"D-don't take off your clothes, idiot!"

"Do you have any better ideas?" Haruka sniffed.

"Tch. I'll fix your dress, OK?" the frog sighed. "Even though I don't know how to sew."

"You will? Really?" Haruka gasped. "Oh, thank you! But you're a frog. How will you do that?"

"I'll make your wildest dreams come true if you turn me back into a prince," the frog muttered, obviously convinced that this line was stupid but it made a good princely line.

"How do I do that?" Haruka asked, not at all shocked by the fact that there was a talking frog in front of her, or that said frog was really a prince, or that said frog prince had just used a really corny line.

"Kiss me," the frog ordered. "And then…then I'll turn back." The frog was definitely not happy with this idea.

Haruka blinked. She didn't see any reason why not to kiss the frog. "OK," she agreed, leaning down to the creature—which, by the way, was really just Amagase Touma in a frog suit—and smiling.

Then Haruka was dragged away by some crew member and reprimanded for skipping straight to the part where she likes the frog.

When Haruka returned, she was frowning. "I am supposed to hate you and find the idea of kissing you gross, apparently," she announced.

"Good, because I find the idea of kissing _you_ gross too," Touma the frog remarked. "In fact, I find the idea of kissing any of you gross."

"Oh. Well, eventually it has to happen though, because that's how the story goes," Haruka said, shrugging.

Touma the frog waved his "hand" (assuming frogs have hands). "Whatever. Let's just get this over with so I can take this stupid costume off."

"I think you look cute," Haruka commented.

Touma the frog blushed. "Whatever," he repeated.

"Anyways," Haruka continued, "since you are a frog it would be disgusting to kiss you. Give me some reason to do it."

"I already told you, I'll fix your dress!"

"But you don't know how to sew."

"Whatever, just hurry up and move on…"

"Am I allowed to like the frog yet?" Haruka called to the staff. Takagi gave her a thumbs-up. Ishikawa nodded. Kuroi just snorted and offered Touma a bright "smile". "OK. Then, I'm going to kiss you now!"

Touma the frog muttered something under his breath and blushed. Haruka gave him a quick kiss and then pulled him to his feet. Touma the frog shoved off the frog suit and was now wearing a princely outfit. He was now Touma the prince.

Haruka grinned. "Now, let's go get married off-set like Yayoi-chan and Makoto-chan did!" she cheered.

"Tch. Whatever."

Touma the prince never really did fix Haruka's dress, so she just got a new one and got changed behind a bush. Then they walked off-set together.

And that was how the story of Touma the frog prince and Haruka the princess ended.

Takagi grinned. "Well, Kuroi? You must admit my idol was quite cute."

"'Cute' doesn't mean a thing," Kuroi scoffed. "She had to get reprimanded, while my Touma was perfect the whole time."

"Not really," Ishikawa objected. "The frog prince is portrayed as a romantic, kind, gentlemanly character, which Amagase Touma definitely is not."

The presidents proceeded to bicker until Producer split them up. Takagi cleared his throat.

"Right, then. Next is the Princess and the Pea. Minase-kun, you're up!"


	4. The Princess and the Pea

_Cast:_

_Minase Iori-Princess_

_Mitarai Shouta-Prince_

_Mizutani Eri-Prince's Mother_

_Pea-Pea_

It was late and rainy. Princess Minase Iori was not used to being out so late and when it was so rainy. To be honest, she had no idea what she was even doing out there, but that's just because it's never mentioned in the fairytale. But, as it happens, she came across the castle described in the tale and knew she had to knock. So she did.

The door opened, revealing Prince Mitarai Shouta and his mother, Queen Mizutani Eri (which was strange for Eri, considering that she was only one year older than Shouta). Shouta smiled.

"Hey, are you that princess that's supposed to sleep on our mattresses tonight?" he asked. Eri nudged him on the arm.

"We're not supposed to know she's a princess yet," she whispered.

Shouta blinked. "Oh yeah. 'Scuse me. Are you that random lady who it turns out is a princess who's sleeping on our mattresses?"

Iori curtsied. "But of course, who else could play such a role?" she laughed.

"OK. Well, come on inside. You look wet," Shouta stated obviously.

"Really now," Iori sighed, stepping inside. "Now, show me my room so that I may change and take a shower."

"Oh, don't worry, you'll see it," Shouta laughed. "It's the one with the thirty-six mattresses all stacked up on the bed. You can't miss it."

Iori curtsied again and hustled upstairs.

"I think it's a princess," Shouta announced.

"Shall we test that?" Eri suggested.

"Of course. Where's that pea?"

"I have it right here…dear."

While Iori was in the shower, Shouta snuck into her room and shoved the pea under all thirty-six mattresses. Then he left, but not before Iori yelled at him for coming into her room while she was in the bathroom naked and showering, despite the fact that Shouta had absolutely no interest in going into said bathroom and looking at Iori naked and showering. Then Iori came out in clothes after the prince had left, tried to climb up the mattresses to go to sleep, and then gave up and got a ladder from off-set. Using the ladder, she climbed onto the mattresses and fell asleep.

When Iori woke up in the morning (meaning, 3 AM), she was miserable. Even though it was supposedly 3 AM, the aching and irritated Princess Iori used the ladder to climb down from her mattresses and stalked down the hallway to Queen Eri's room.

"What is the meaning of this?!" Iori demanded. Eri stirred and sat up.

"Y-yes?" she stuttered. She hadn't been expecting Iori until 3:30 AM..

"I had the worst night's sleep!"

"You didn't…have a night's sleep…"

"…I had the worst morning's sleep!"

"What happened?"

"I don't know, but my back hurts, I was tossing and turning…I mean, it felt like someone was stabbing a knife into my back!"

Prince Shouta promptly appeared at the door. "That was just a pea," he said dismissively. "I stuck it under your mattresses while you were showering."

"Oh, so that's why you were there. I thought you just wanted to peek at me," Iori admitted.

"Nah, I'm not interested in those kinds of things," Shouta laughed. "So, since you're obviously a princess, wanna get married?"

"No."

"Well, you have to anyways," Eri commented. "That's…that's how the story goes, a-after all…"

Iori sighed, exasperated. "Fine!" she sniffed. "But I'm not doing it on-set."

"No one is."

"Then, let us be off."

And that was how the story of Princess Iori and the Pea ended.

Ishikawa gave Eri a supportive smile. "Good job," she praised. "You three were so cute together."

Iori and Eri blushed, while Shouta just grinned.

"Good work, Minase-kun," Takagi said. "That was a very convincing princess you played."

"Naturally," Iori sniffed. She and Eri went off to get ready for the next part (which, for Iori, was just a curtain call kind of thing).

"You could have been better," Kuroi muttered to his grinning male idol. "You weren't supposed to know the girl was a princess at first."

"I know~" Shouta said dismissively. "I messed up. Sorry~"

"Sorry doesn't fix it," Kuroi growled.

"You were fine, Shouta," Ishikawa cut in. "But Eri was cuter."

"Minase-kun was cuter," Takagi muttered, which, of course, sparked another argument. Shouta used the opportunity to sneak away and prepare for his next prince role. Producer broke up the fight, getting punched in the face in the process, and Takagi looked around at the assembled idols, smiling and nodding in approval.

"Right. Beauty and the Beast cast, you're up next!"


	5. Beauty and the Beast

_Cast:_

_Miura Azusa-Belle_

_Ijuuin Hokuto-the Beast_

_Akizuki Ryo- Belle's Sister 1_

_Hidaka Ai-Belle's Sister 2_

_Producer-Belle's Father_

Miura Azusa was a very beautiful woman. Everyone knew it, even her father. But despite this, Azusa was very poor since she decided not to do something stupid like become a prostitute to support her family. After all, Azusa was a wholesome woman as well. Once, she remembered she had been rich, but her father the merchant lost his fortune one day and so they were forced to move out to the countryside and start a new life.

One day, Azusa's father Producer, who actually got some lines this time, received a letter saying that one of his merchant ships had been found and he could regain his fortune. So he set off for the ship, but not before asking his daughters what they wanted.

"Well, Ai? Ryo? Azusa? What would you guys like?" Producer asked.

"I really, really, really, really, really, really…"

Ai was dragged off-set and reprimanded for taking too long. She came back out.

"…really want some pretty dresses," she finished. "And jewels, and…ooh! I want a lot of fancy expensive stuff!"

Ryo opened his mouth to say that, since he was a boy, all he really wanted was some food and a tux, maybe, but then he remembered he was supposed to be playing a snooty girl. So he said, "The same as Ai, please."

Producer nodded and turned to Azusa. "Azusa?"

"I just want some meat~" Azusa said lightly.

"…really?"

"No, I'd like a rose~. Roses are quite rare around here, and they are so beautiful."

Producer nodded. "Right, then. Bye, daughters…I am going to go get your gifts."

But when Producer reached the sight of the ship, he realized it had been robbed. So, dejected, he headed out to return to his daughters and tell them that he had failed as a father. Unfortunately, Producer got lost in the woods.

He was excited, however, to see that a random buffet was laid out in the middle of the forest randomly for random people to randomly eat. So, naturally, he ate some. Right before he left, he saw a rose garden and left to go pick one, remembering Azusa's request. But, as soon as he'd picked the rose, a hideous beast rose out from behind the bushes, a scowl on his fuzzy face.

Producer dropped the rose in alarm. "P-please don't eat me! I want more lines!" he begged.

The beast blinked. "Eat you? Ew, that's disgusting. I'm not going to eat you."

"Oh…you're not?" Producer blinked back. "Then…what are you gonna do to me?"

The beast shrugged. "Oh, I'll probably do things the Disney way and lock you in a dungeon to rot. That would be good enough, don't you think?"

Producer nodded. "Yeah, that would make an excellent punishment. Say, what if I sent you one of my daughters in exchange for my freedom?" he offered.

The beast put his chin in his hand and seemed to be considering. "Hmm…only if it's Azusa~"

"OK, then, I'll send you Azusa, since that's how the story is supposed to happen. Oh, and if you wanted to kill me, that'd be OK too. I think I've had enough lines now."

"No, I just want to marry Azusa~"

"OK. Thanks, man."

"Not a problem. Oh, by the way, there's a chest upstairs full of fancy expensive stuff. Help yourself to some gifts for your other daughter and your son."

The beast/Hokuto was dragged off-set and reminded that Ryo was a woman now.

"Excuse me, your daughters."

Producer smiled. "OK. Thanks again. You know, for a hideous beast, you sure are a cool dude," he commented.

Hokuto/the beast folded his arms. "I'm not hideous. It's all this make-up."

"Well, the make-up artists did a splendid job. You truly are hideous, my friend."

"I'll tell them that later."

Then Producer headed upstairs and took some fancy expensive stuff, and then he left to return home to his daughters, content with the number of lines he got in that scene. He walked through the door and handed the gifts to his daughters.

Ryo looked at the dresses in his hands. "Father, you do know I am not going to wear any of these, right?" he asked.

"Well, son—excuse me, daughter—you are wearing a dress right now, you know," Producer pointed out.

"Maybe, but these dresses are really fancy and I don't think they will fit me, anyways," Ryo explained.

Producer shrugged. "Fair enough. Azusa, here's your rose. You have to go to a castle and marry a beast now so I don't get locked in a dungeon. I hope you don't mind," he added.

Azusa smiled pleasantly. "No, I don't mind at all," she insisted. "Where is this castle?"

"Oh, it's in the woods. There's going to be a scene change so you don't need to know exactly where it is."

"OK."

As promised, there was a scene change that now showed Azusa at the castle. She knocked on the door. The door was flung open at once, revealing a smiling beast.

"Azusa, my angel~!" the beast, whom I shall call Hokuto from now on, exclaimed happily. "Come in, come in! Welcome to my home. I hope you like, since you'll be staying here forever with me from now on~."

"No I won't," Azusa corrected. "There's that one scene where I return to my family for a few weeks, remember?"

"Oh yeah," Hokuto agreed. "Well, that doesn't matter because after that scene you return to me and we get married."

The both of them were dragged off-set and reprimanded for spoiling the story while the audience was distracted by computer generated dancing wieners.

They returned to the set.

"Well, we shouldn't spoil the story anymore~" Azusa suggested. "You're very fluffy, Beast Hokuto-san."

"You may pet me if you like~" Hokuto offered. Azusa stroked his face momentarily.

"Yes, that fur is very soft," she commented. "Anyway, I am going to go upstairs so I may go to sleep."

"But first, you have to go on a date with me, my dear," Hokuto reminded her. "We have to have supper together and I have to ask you to marry me."

"I thought we agreed to stop spoiling the story…"

"I lied."

Azusa did as the story required and joined Hokuto for dinner. At the end of the dinner Hokuto asked Azusa to marry him, which Azusa refused because, not only was it required by the story, but also because Azusa didn't really want to marry someone from Jupiter however much she wanted to get married. Then she went to bed.

When Azusa woke up in the morning, apparently months had passed of her going to dinner with Hokuto every night, being asked to marry him, and refusing his offer. Now it was time for her to return to her family, who she missed dearly.

"Hokuto-san~, I have to go home now," Azusa announced. "May I have my mirror?"

"Of course, my angel," Hokuto agreed, handing Azusa a mirror and a ring. "I think you know what to do with the ring, right?"

"Right."

"Then, be on your way. Don't forget to check up on me every once in a while. I'll be here, missing you terribly~"

"I'll be with my family, not missing you at all~"

"How cold, Azusa…"

When Azusa arrived back with her family, she told her sisters and father of the wealth and fancy things she'd acquired while living with Hokuto (she almost told them about the time Hokuto tried to share the bed with her, but then she remembered that that had nothing to do with the story).

Her sisters became jealous (or at least, Ai did. Ryo wasn't jealous of anyone but the beast, who was so manly that he had facial hair on his facial hair because of the make-up team), and so they (meaning Ai) devised a plan to make Azusa stay with them longer than she was meant to, thus making Hokuto angry enough to kill her. Ryo was quick to point out that Hokuto was a flirt and had particular feelings for Azusa so that he probably wouldn't kill her, but Ai dismissed this and went to purchase some fake tears.

Ai approached Azusa on the day she was scheduled to leave. "Azusa-neechan!" she whined. "I'll miss you if you go, and so will Ryo! Please don't leave us!"

Azusa blinked. "But I have to go back to the beast."

"No you don't," Ai countered. "The story says that you stay with us."

"Oh, that's right~"

So Azusa stayed with her family another month. On the last day of the month, she decided to check in on poor Hokuto, who was slumped half-dead on the ground near the rose bushes of his castle, dying of heartbreak. Azusa herself would have been quite alright if he died, since, after all, it was a story and she wasn't particularly fond of the idol, but she left anyways because she had to. On the way, she bought some fake tears.

"Oh, beast, please don't die," she begged upon reaching the place. Quickly she put some fake tears in her eyes and started to cry magical tears just like every other heroine in these kinds of stories. "I will be sad. Please wake up. Um…I love you…?"

Azusa's fake tears were so effective that Hokuto turned back into Hokuto instead of Hokuto the beast. Azusa gasped in alarm even though she knew it was coming.

"Hi~" she greeted simply.

"Hello, angel~"

"Now we're supposed to get married~"

"Want to do it on-set~?"

"No~. Ah…dear beast, you aren't fluffy anymore," Azusa pointed out.

"No, but I am very handsome, don't you think?" Hokuto pressed.

"I suppose," Azusa agreed. "Let's go get married off-set like everyone else."

And that is how the story of Azusa and the beast ended.

The presidents applauded. "Good job, you guys!" Takagi praised.

"You got dragged off-set more then any other group! Congratulations!" Ishikawa added.

"Does getting married off-set mean that we actually get to get married off-set?" Hokuto asked, with a glance at Azusa.

Azusa shook her head, smiling pleasantly. "No, I don't want to," she sad simply.

Hokuto sighed. "Please?"

"No~"

"Then, I'll just wait. One day you'll come to your senses. They always do~."

Kuroi snorted. "You. You kept messing up."

"That's what you get for not giving us scripts, Kuroi-shachou," Hokuto said simply. "I'm off to go get ready. What's the next story again?"

Takagi seemed to be thinking. "The next story is…Sleeping Beauty."


	6. Sleeping Beauty

_Cast:_

_Hoshii Miki-Aurora_

_Amagase Touma-the Prince_

_Mizutani Eri-the Queen_

_Akizuki Ryo-the King_

_Hidaka Ai-Wicked Fairy_

_Otonashi Kotori-Random fairy_

Hoshii Miki was the only daughter of the kind and queen of a kingdom. On the day she was born, fairies were invited to gift the baby with some kind of magical gift. But unfortunately for baby Miki, the wicked fairy Hidaka Ai was there to give a gift too.

"I hereby declare that when this baby turns sixteen, she will prick her finger on some sort of needle thingy and DIE!" Ai cackled.

Queen Eri stood from her throne, while King Ryo just sat there looking happy that he was finally playing a male role.

"H-how dare you…!" Eri gasped.

"Oh, but we all knew this was going to happen," Ai sighed. "It's in the story."

"True…but still! Someone…please do something…"

A random fairy, who just so happened to be Otonashi Kotori, stepped forwards as the last one to give her gift. "Well, I think we all know I can't reverse this completely," she announced. "But, I hereby declare that instead of dying, this child, when she pricks her finger, will fall asleep for a hundred years and be awoken by a prince's kiss."

Eri nodded, content with the effort to protect her baby, despite the fact that when her baby became Miki instead of a baby, it would be the same age as its mother and father, which Eri found strange (she also found it strange that she was married to Ryo, but she decided not to say anything about the choice of casting).

She turned to King Ryo. "A-aren't you supposed to make some sort of law now?" she asked.

"Hm?" Ryo looked at her. "Eri-chan, I'm playing a boy now."

"Yes, that's very nice."

"Right. I'm supposed to make a law?"

"Yes, something about no spindles…"

Ryo stood from his throne. "OK, I hereby declare that anyone who owns a spindle is to destroy it somehow, and no one is ever allowed to own one again. Except for you, that old lady in the corner. Because, according to the story, you are supposed to own a spindle" He paused. "…that is all."

Time passed, and one day when Miki was sixteen and her parents were out doing something, she decided to go for a walk around the castle.

"Miki has such an easy role," she said to herself. "All Miki has to do is be born, prick her finger, sleep, and get kissed. How lucky Miki is!"

She spotted a room she'd never seen before. "And now, it's time for Miki to prick her finger," she sighed. She pushed open the door. "Hey old lady~, do you have a spindle Miki can prick her finger on?"

An old woman who was played by a random extra looked up. "Why, yes I do," she croaked. "King Ryo told me to keep mine for that very purpose. Here you go, dear."

"Thanks~!" Miki cheered. "Miki is so tired. Sleeping for one hundred years will make Miki less tired. Well, goodnight." Miki reached over and pricked her finger on the spindle, then promptly fainted into her deep sleep, as the story (and Miki's sleep habits) required.

Years supposedly passed. Kotori and the rest of the good fairies covered the kingdom wit ha covering of roses and thorns. One day, as he was out on a hunting trip, Prince Amagase Touma ran across the kingdom.

"Why do I have to kiss another 765 girl?" he muttered under his breath, slicing up the thorns. "Why don't the others have to kiss anyone yet? I don't even like these girls, and this time it's that really annoying one that speaks in the third person all the time. How stupid."

When Touma had cut through enough of the plants (he thought), he tried to squeeze into the castle but he got stuck on some thorns. Staff ran on-set to untangle him while the audience was distracted by more CGI dancing wieners. Then Touma was able to get inside, shaking his head miserably.

"This is stupid," he muttered. "Hokuto should have done this. He's much more excited for women and whatnot."

Eventually, Touma found Miki, sleeping on a bed. He poked her with his sword.

"Yo 765. Wake up," he ordered.

"No," Miki responded. "Not until you kiss Miki."

Miki was carried off-set for a lecture, then carried back on. She was now completely silent.

Touma groaned and poked her again. "I'm not gonna kiss you. It ain't happening. So just make things easy and wake up."

Miki was silent.

Touma shook her.

Miki was still silent.

Touma gave up and turned to walk outside but was intercepted by some staff. There were more CGI dancing wieners, this time in tutus, while the presidents ordered Touma to complete his role and kiss Miki. So, begrudgingly, when Touma was allowed back on-set he kissed Miki quickly, then wiped his face and grunted in annoyance.

Miki was still silent.

"Oh, for crying out loud, she's actually asleep!" Touma realized. "Now what?!"

"Miki is awake suddenly!" Miki suddenly shouted, bolting up in bed. "Thanks for the kiss Touma-kun~. Bye. Miki's gonna take another nap."

Touma blinked. "…so that's it, then."

"Yep. Bye. Thanks again."

"OK. Bye."

Then Touma left the room. The presidents facepalmed in the background, annoyed that the pair didn't get married off-set like they were supposed to, but they said nothing.

And that was how the story of Sleeping Miki ended.

"You two were supposed to get married," Kuroi sighed.

"I'm already married," Touma muttered. "Technically I'm cheating on Haruka. So just accept that I don't ever want to do this again and leave me alone."

"Your next appearance is as the prince from Snow White," Takagi called after him.

Touma moaned.

"Right, then," Ishikawa began, "what's next?"

"The Little Mermaid."


	7. The Little Mermaid

_Cast:_

_Futami Mami-Ariel_

_Mitarai Shouta-Eric_

_Akizuki Ryo-King Neptune_

_Otonashi Kotori-Ursula_

Futami Mami was a young, rebellious mermaid who loved to explore the outside world more than sing like her sisters did. She had a knack for getting into trouble that her father, King Ryo (who was ecstatic that he had gotten to play two male roles in a row), didn't very much appreciate.

One day she decided to go for a swim and skip her singing practice to explore.

"Mami doesn't think singing is very fun," she sighed to herself. "After all, since Mami is an idol Mami does that all the time. Today, Mami is going to go visit a sea witch instead."

Of course, Mami knew that in the original Disney version of the story (which was the version the agencies were going off of since the original was a little dark) she was supposed to meet Eric/Shouta, get caught fantasizing in her secret grotto, and get punished before visiting Ursula the sea witch, but she was bored with that idea so she decided to skip it.

After swimming around for quite some time, Mami came across the cave that housed Ursula the sea witch, otherwise known as Otonashi Kotori the office clerk. Mami swam inside.

"Yo Piyo-Piyo!" she called. "Mami has to lose her voice and you have to turn Mami's father into a weird sea creature thingy!"

Kotori rose out from behind a rock. "How dare you enter my lair?!" she snapped. "…wait, did you say it was time for that scene already? Oh my, I thought you were supposed to get punished first…"

Mami waved her hand. "That part is boring so Mami skipped it," she said.

"Oh. Well, before I take your voice and turn your father into a weird sea creature, can I sing that 'Poor Unfortunate Souls' song?"

"Only if Mami gets to sing it with you."

"OK."

So the two sang the song. Halfway through they were dragged off-set and reprimanded, then sent back. Even though she'd been warned not to, Mami finished the song and was immediately reprimanded again. Then Ryo swam in.

"Excuse me," he began, "I believe I was supposed to be turned into a weird sea creature at this hour."

Kotori nodded. "Wasn't I supposed to transform your daughter first?"

"I don't know. I haven't seen the movie in a long time and it doesn't give any details about that on Wikipedia."

Kotori and Ryo were taken off-set and lectured, then sent back.

"I believe I was supposed to be transformed while trying to protect Mami," Ryo explained.

"OK. Give me a moment."

Kotori employed the use of CGI animation to transform King Ryo into a weird sea creature. Mami applauded.

"Now it's Mami's turn!" she cheered.

Kotori smiled. "OK. I'm going to take your voice now~. Say 'ah'~"

"Aaah~…"

"OK, and…there you go! Now you're mute. Go woo a prince."

Mami nodded and waved goodbye. Then she swam away to the surface to woo a prince. When she reached the surface (she had legs now too, by the way), she climbed out onto the shore and sat on a rock to await her prince.

"Mami just realized something!" Mami shouted, forgetting that she was supposed to be mute. "Mami was supposed to rescue the prince before all of this! …well, darn."

Mami was dragged off-set.

She returned to find the prince, Mitarai Shouta, waiting for her on the rocks. He gave a quick two-fingered salute and a smile. Mami waved.

"So, are you that mermaid I was supposed to marry?" Shouta asked.

Mami nodded.

"Oh, OK. Well, here's the scoop; I'm kinda bored from just sitting here on the rocks, but since we've skipped so many scenes already—like, you were supposed to come rescue me from a shipwreck earlier. I waited," he added, tapping his foot. Mami just shrugged.

"Anyways, I figured we could just skip straight to the part where we get married, as long as Kotori doesn't try to stop us."

Kotori appeared from out of nowhere. "Oh no, I don't mind," she trilled.

The presidents facepalmed.

"Alright. Then, let's get married~" Shouta suggested with a wink. In response, Mami walked up and sat on him. "I think that's a yes. Off we go, then~!"

And then the two got married, Kotori played dead, and King Ryo was restored to his mermaid glory.

And that was how the story of the abridged version of The Little Mami ended.

Takagi groaned. "What…did you two do?"

Shouta tried shrugging before realizing he was carrying Mami in his arms, which restricted the use of shoulders. "I dunno. But it was fun, don't you think, Mami-chan?"

"BLURB!" was Mami's response.

"I'm gonna take that as a yes~! So anyways, you guys should be thanking us for making it super-cute and super-awesome instead of yelling. Don't you think it was cute, Kuro-chan~?"

Kuroi sighed and shook his head. "You two cut out half the movie!"

"Yup."

"Why did you—"

"I think it was cute," Ishikawa broke in. "Sure, you didn't really do anything but meet and get married, but it was still cute."

Mami pumped her fist in the air. Shouta tried to do the same, but the Mami in his arms wouldn't allow it.

"See that, Shachou-san? Mami was cute," Mami declared triumphantly. "Now, manslave—take Mami to her dressing room!"

"…you want me to go in your dressing room with you?"

"Nah, just drop Mami off outside and Mami will walk inside herself."

"OK~! Bye-bye, Kuro-chan! …And you other two~!"

Takagi sighed. "Ijuuin-kun and Shijou-kun. Don't disappoint me. Rapunzel cast, places!"


	8. Rapunzel

_Cast:_

_Shijou Takane-Rapunzel_

_Ijuuin Hokuto-Prince_

_Mizutani Eri-Wicked Mother…Person_

_Hidaka Ai- Rapunzel's real mom_

_Producer-Rapunzel's real dad_

Producer and Hidaka Ai were a lonely couple who were awaiting the birth of their only child (which was very strange, considering Producer was probably at least ten years older than Ai) when Ai started experiencing desperate cravings.

"Producer," she moaned one day.

"Yes…dear?" Producer asked, rather uncomfortably.

"I want chocolate!"

"…don't you mean, you want rapunzel cabbage?"

"Ah…yes, that. I can't pronounce it so I thought I'd just ask for chocolate. Go fetch me some rapunzel cabbage."

So Producer did as commanded and went to go get some cabbage. But when he got there, he was confronted by the wicked enchantress Mizutani Eri, who was furious (more or less) at the sight of Producer stealing her cabbage.

"H-how dare you…steal my cabbage," she droned. "The story requires that I must now kidnap your only daughter and lock her in a tower…f-far far away."

Producer shrugged. "OK. When she's born I'll bring her over here. Sound good?"

"Y-yes, thank you."

So when Producer and Ai's "baby" was born, Producer gave her to the enchantress, who was technically supposed to name her Rapunzel, but named her Takane instead. When Takane was supposedly twelve, Eri locked her in a tower (although she didn't actually "lock" Takane in the tower since she thought it was cruel). Whenever she wanted to reach the top of the tower, Eri would call, "Takane, Takane, l-let down your long…hair," and Takane would toss down a silken prop of silver hair that matched the color of her own down to Eri, since her hair wasn't actually long enough to hoist her up to the top floor.

Takane loved to sing more then anything (except maybe eat ramen, keep secrets, and stare at the moon). Eri liked listening to her sing. One day when Takane was singing, she caught the attention of a wandering prince, Prince Ijuuin Hokuto, who was so greatly attracted by Takane's voice (and her appearance as well) that he searched for her and finally found her castle.

"Ah, hello up there!" he called. Takane ceased her song and leaned out the window.

"Greetings," she called back. "Did you not hear my song? I had not finished, and it was quite rude of you to interrupt."

"Oh, terribly sorry, my dear," Hokuto half-purred. "You sounded beautiful. You look quite beautiful also, if I may add."

"Thank you, kind sir," Takane answered. "What are you doing at my castle?"

"I just wanted to hear you sing. That's a very flattering dress you have."

"It is a very revealing dress, sir."

"Yes, I know."

Takane retreated back inside the window.

"W-wait a second, Princess!" Hokuto yelled desperately. "I didn't mean it…!"

"Yes you did," Takane corrected calmly without leaning back out the window. She resumed her song where she'd left off.

Hokuto sighed and headed into the woods to try again another day.

The next day Hokuto visited again. This time he was careful to wait for Takane to finish singing before calling out to her.

"Hello again, Princess~!"

Takane leaned out the window, wearing a frown. "Ah, it is you."

"Yes indeed," Hokuto responded fondly. "Is it possible you could come down here? I'd like to be able to see you up close~."

"I cannot get down, I'm afraid," Takane shouted down to him. "For, as it is my hair is not actually long enough to tie to a hook, and there is no hook after all so I cannot make a silken hair prop rope and rappel to the bottom. Even if I could, I am scared that you would try to look up my skirt, and I would be forced to hit you with a heeled shoe."

Hokuto tried to ignore the part about getting hit with a shoe. "Then, perhaps you could pull me up there."

"What are the magic words?" Takane called.

"Um…'oh my dearest princess, throw down your hair prop so that I, your loyal knight, may ascend to you and embrace and kiss you, oh beautiful one'?"

"…no, that is not even close. They are, 'Takane, Takane, let down your hair'."

Takane was pulled inside the tower where no one could see her and reprimanded. She poked her head back out. "Excuse me," she called, "I was not supposed to tell you that. Please come back tomorrow, where you may witness my…'mother'…calling the magic words to me."

Hokuto shrugged, figuring it was as good an opportunity as any to reach the top of the tower. "OK, then I shall return tomorrow. Ciao~!"

The next day, Eri had reached the tower long before Hokuto. "Takane, Takane, let down your h-hair," she rasped. "Please…"

"Not yet," Takane replied. "I must ask you to repeat those words soon when the prince arrives. And, could you bring me some ramen? I have not had any in quite some time."

"Of course," Eri agreed. She sat on a rock to wait for Hokuto. Within moments, the dashing prince had arrived.

He looked to Eri and shot her a wink. "Ciao~! Are you the mother who is supposed to teach me the magic words so that I may make out with—embrace your daughter?" he asked curiously.

Eri blushed and she squeaked.

"I think you have broken my mother," Takane called down. "Dearest mother, please speaketh thine magic words to me."

"Old English, eh? Fancy."

"I thanketh thee for thine praise unto myself."

"…excuse me?"

"Thanks."

"Oh, you're welcome."

Eri looked up to Takane and smiled shyly. "I…yes, here I go. T-Takane, Takane…let down your long hair."

"Not by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin," Takane declared.

"…T-Takane?" Eri whispered.

Takane blinked. "I was mistaken. Just a moment." She picked up the hair prop and threw it down to Eri, who stepped aside.

"I-I believe that is for you," she said to Hokuto.

"Weren't you supposed to hate me?" Hokuto confirmed. Eri shrugged and gestured to the hanging hair prop. "Alright, then. Up I go."

Hokuto grabbed onto the hair prop and somehow Takane managed to develop enough upper body strength to pull him to the top of the tower. They sat on Takane's bed.

"…you know," Hokuto began sullenly, "in some versions of the story the prince makes Rapunzel pregnant."

Takane removed her shoe and hit him in the face with it, then gingerly replaced it back on her foot and crossed her legs, satisfied with the look of pain on Hokuto's face.

"…OK, so this is the Disney version. Then, shall we skip to the part where we get married?"

"I do not want to marry you," Takane stated bluntly.

"…but according to the fairytale, we must. Don't be so cruel, dear~…"

"You are the cruel ones," Takane sniffed, lifting her chin in a dignified manner.

"Well, we're getting married whether you like it or not. We can either do it now, or we can do it later, but either way I intend to make out with—embrace you," Hokuto explained.

Takane shot him a glare and then nodded slowly. "Then, we shall get married off-set," she sighed.

Hokuto smiled triumphantly. "Then, I'll hire a priest~!"

"Not for real," Takane said quickly. "Come, let us descend from the tower."

"OK." Hokuto walked to the window. "Wow, it's a long way down. How do we get to the bottom?"

"You know," Takane said slowly and thoughtfully. "In one version of the story, the prince is pushed from the tower."

"W-wait a moment…T-Takane? Why are you walking closer…? Wait…TAKANE! I-I'M TOO BEAUTIFUL TO DIE~!"

The staff hurried on-set with a giant mattress and managed to catch the falling Hokuto. Takane blinked and then took on a saddened expression.

"Terribly sorry," she called to the bruised blonde idol. "I take it you were not expecting that? I was simply following the story…"

"…Shijou Takane?"

"Yes, Ijuuin Hokuto?"

"I see why Touma-kun is afraid of you now."

"Thank you…?"

And then Takane walked out of the tower and married the prince off-set, and they all lived happily ever after.

And that is how the story of Takane and Prince Hokuto ended.

Takagi applauded. "Congratulations, you two. You only got dragged off-set a couple times," he praised.

Ishikawa giggled at the sight of the bruised and hunched-over Hokuto and the erect, straight-backed and pleasant Takane. "Honestly though, all three of you—excuse me, all _five _of you," she corrected, remembering Producer and Ai, "were brilliant."

"Could've been better," Kuroi muttered. "Of course my idol was the saving grace."

Hokuto wobbled over to Kuroi and placed a hand on the older man's shoulder. "…Kuroi-shachou?"

"Yeah?"

"I did not sign up for this," Hokuto huffed. "I think I bruised my face. My poor, lovely face. And my spleen doesn't feel so hot either."

"Walk it off," Kuroi snapped.

"I can barely walk! I just fell out of a thirty-foot building!"

"It was just a set."

"It hurt, Kuroi-shachou," Hokuto muttered, giving Takane a terrified (and yet still flirtatious in some way) glance.

Takane nodded. "I am going to get changed," she announced. "Farewell."

Hokuto sighed and followed her slowly. "You know, I think you owe me a legit marriage for this~…"

Takagi clapped his hands. "Right, then. Aladdin cast, you're next!"


	9. Rumpelstiltskin

_Cast:_

_Akizuki Ritsuko-The Girl_

_Hidaka Ai-Rumpelstiltskin_

_Producer-The King_

_Otonashi Kotori-the Girl's Mother_

Akizuki Ritsuko was an only child who lived with her mother Otonashi Kotori in a cottage in a village ruled by a king who liked taxing his subjects. Ritsuko never really complained about having to help her mother gain money to pay the taxes. She was used to doing taxes, earning money, and having a budget. After all, she was a producer. The only time it ever bothered her was when her family suddenly ran out of money.

On that day King Producer rode through the town collecting his taxes. When he reached Ritsuko's house, he stopped and looked down at Kotori.

"I have come to collect your taxes," he announced. "If you do not give them to me, I will burn down your house, whether it says to do so in the actual story or not."

"I don't have the money," Kotori began, "but my only daughter knows how to spin straw into gold, as far as you know. You can take her instead."

"Sounds like a good trade," Producer mused. "Alright, send her out."

Kotori went to go fetch Ritsuko, who went immediately to the carriage without any protesting. She was well aware of how the story went.

"OK, off we go. I'm gonna lock you in a room when we get there. Is that OK with you?" Producer asked.

"Fine, fine," Ritsuko insisted. "I don't mind one bit."

"Alright. You know, you have to be pregnant by the end of this story…"

Ritsuko was silent. Suddenly she lurched forwards, grabbed Producer by the collar of his shirt, and pulled him in close.

"Listen, you," she hissed, "I have way too much on my hands to worry about a real baby."

"Right, I—" Producer began.

"So don't you dare try anything, Mister!" Ritsuko finished. "…Unless you want to wake up in the morning with no arms."

Producer blinked. "R-right. I was just going to suggest you shove a pillow up your shirt."

Ritsuko sniffed and released him.

They arrived at the castle and Producer instantly locked Ritsuko in a room (partially because he was afraid of her) and left to go do king stuff.

Ritsuko picked up a straw and started trying to spin it into gold. Of course, this didn't work at all, so she decided to just sit there and wait for Rumpelstiltskin, AKA Hidaka Ai, to show up and help her. Soon enough, the small 876 idol showed up in her room and grinned.

"Sorry I'm late!" she greeted. "I'm Hidaka Ai, and I FIGHT FOR YOU!"

Ai was lectured and sent back.

Ritsuko offered a curt nod. "Right. In exchange for my first-born child, I plead with you to spin this straw into gold for me."

"Whoa, you're actually gonna have a real kid?" Ai gasped. "Do I actually get to keep it?"

"Of course not!" Ritsuko snapped. "Don't be ridiculous! Now, spin my straw!"

Ai, having been frightened by the "Demon General", instantly began working, and due to the use of CGI animation, there was soon a pile of gold in exchange for the straw that had been there before.

"There we go!" Ai cheered. "OK, now that that's done, I'm going home!"

Ai apparently vanished in a puff of pink smoke thanks to a green screen that the agencies couldn't afford.

Ritsuko was sitting back and admiring Ai's good work when Producer walked in.

"Wow, what do you know? You actually can spin straw into gold!" he gasped. Ritsuko smiled proudly and lifted her chin. "Hey, let's get married. And in the meantime, keep doing this or I'll kill you."

"Fine."

So it was that every day afterwards, Ai appeared in the room and was scared into spinning straw into gold for Ritsuko. Producer was impressed and the two of them got married. When Ritsuko was pregnant with her first child (meaning she had a pillow shoved up her shirt) Ai appeared to collect her reward.

"Hey, you know, that kid is rightfully mine," she told Ritsuko. "So hurry and give birth so you can hand it over!"

"This kid isn't going to be born for another three days," Ritsuko announced. "So come back then."

"OK." Ai paused. "Ain't ya gonna resist? I am taking your child, after all."

"I don't have time for babies. You can have it."

Ritsuko was ordered off-set, but she ignored the orders and continued acting while the presidents made wild hand gestures in the background.

"Um…well, y'know, if you wanna stop this, all you have to do is guess my name!" Ai cackled.

Ritsuko shrugged. "Fine. Return tomorrow and I'll guess. Right now I'm much too busy."

Ai blinked. "OK…" Thanks to the green screen, she vanished again into a puff of black smoke this time.

The next morning she returned. Ritsuko greeted her with another curt nod.

"I have come for your baby! If you want me to not take your baby tomorrow, then guess my name now!" she ordered.

"Hidaka Ai."

Ai opened her mouth and closed it again. "I…no! I changed it!"

Ritsuko blinked. "Rumpelstiltskin."

"Um…no!"

"Hidaka 'Rumpelstiltskin' Ai."

"…OK fine! You win!" Ai pouted. "How'd you know?"

"You told me your name when we first met," Ritsuko sighed. "Plus I've read this story before."

Dejected, Ai hung her head and vanished in orange smoke thanks to the green screen (nobody seemed to mind that her whole body was covered in a green suit).

Ritsuko's "baby" was "born" without any problems, and her and Producer lived happily ever after.

And that was how the story of Ritsuko and King Producer ended.

"I told you to get off the set!" Takagi sighed. "Akizuki-kun. Just because you are a producer doesn't give you the right to defy my orders."

"I think I did a fantastic job," Ritsuko huffed. "My acting was fine. You were being picky." She headed off to get ready for the finale.

Producer shivered. "She scares me, actually…"

"She scares all of us," Ishikawa murmured.

"I'm not scared of anything," Kuroi bragged.

Takagi sighed. "Whatever, whatever! Aladdin cast, you're up!"

"Wait!"

Takagi turned. "Yes, Ganaha-kun?"

"Am I still Snow White?" she asked.

"No, we changed you to Jasmine," Ishikawa answered. "We thought it would suit you better."

"An' Touma's Aladdin now, right?" Hibiki responded.

"Yes, that's what we decided," Takagi said.

"No problemo! I'll go out there an' do a kick-butt job, no doubt! Can't say the same 'bout Touma, but…" She smirked at Kuroi and headed off.

Kuroi glared after his former idol and observed the rest of the idols.

"Aladdin cast! Get out there!"


End file.
